‘Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.
Friends are not just for fun; they play a significant role in maintaining a healthy and blossoming life. A strong friendship positively impacts our mental, emotional and physical health. On the other hand, a negative friendship or pushy, overbearing friends can drain you both mentally and emotionally. We all have this gut feeling that knows that somewhere we are being pushed and manipulated, leading us in a negative direction. But, of course, who wants to destroy a long-term friendship bond? Or the fear of losing a friend holds us back. But is saving a toxic friendship worth it?
We have found the best ideas, by which you could simply make a distance or handle pushy, overbearing friends without hurting them or ruining a good friendship.
How to know you are with a pushy, overbearing friend?
- If they get angry about small things, expect you to apologize every single time.
- They make you feel guilty if you do anything without them.
- When you start lying to that friend about your how and wherever.
- Do you find yourself searching for ways to avoid that friend?
- Does being with them make you feel exhausted and drained?
- When you feel like you are being controlled or manipulated
- When you have to explain everything to your friend when you need not to.
- They are very demanding and do not respect you.
- They blackmail you emotionally.
These are signs which shout out loud- that you are with a pushy, overbearing friendship. So, it’s time to keep a distance or end the friendship for the good of both you and your friends.
Tips for handling a pushy, overbearing friend
1. Practice saying ‘No.’
In starting, saying No could be difficult; you might feel if you are wrong or right. But it’s ok. Every time putting your needs ahead of all is something that should never be done. The biggest truth of life is that if you do not think about yourself, no one else will. So, next time your controlling friends ask you to do something you are not comfortable with, you could say No.
For example:
- No, I have to study, so I cannot hang out with you tonight.
- No, don’t talk to me like that.
- I Am not free, so I’ll not do your homework.
2. Have open communication with them
No need to fight over anything, but you can simply tell them how you feel about your friendship and what you want. If they are such a good friend to you, they will understand and try to make up for the situation between you two.
For example, Tell them:
- What you are feeling
- When and you feel that way
- What you want in future
3. Make your boundaries clear
It’s not wrong to set your boundaries if you are not comfortable. A pushy and controlling friend often disrespects your boundaries which is not ok. So, spell out your boundaries in clear and loud words.
For example:
- I can’t meet on weekdays; I’ll only be available on weekends.
- I don’t like when people disrespect me.
- I can’t take up the call after 10 P.M unless it’s an emergency.
4. Be confident
Do you feel self-conscious around them? Ask yourself Why?
The only way to make people respect you is to respect you first. Your friend will be more likely to respect you if you do not let them disrespect you and use confident body language when you speak.
For example:
- Make eye contact while talking to them.
- Put your point of view in front of them.
- Do not fidget, sit or stand still.
5. Know the right time to walk away
The wisest person in the world is one who knows when to walk away from a toxic situation. If you feel like you tried hard enough but cannot change the personality of your overbearing and controlling friend, the right decision is to walk away and keep a distance from them.
What’s the benefit of having a friend when all you feel is stress around them? Friends are the pillars that support you emotionally and mentally, not the ones who control you. So, it’s time when you know who are the positive ones you want in your life and who are no longer needed.
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